…and now I can see how amazing this day was.
I thought it was a bad day. In some respects, it was. My temper was short. My mind was occupied, attention elsewhere. I didn’t get a shower or do much of any self-care today. I was primarily concerned with my goals, most of which I didn’t even accomplish.
However, two things became glaringly obvious to me, after all was said & done.
One, that my T-bug (4.5) is brave.
We don’t watch much Disney here (personal preference), but one of the three Disney movies she’s seen is Brave. She loves Brave. She likes to tell me that she is brave.
I didn’t used to believe her, tho I smiled & nodded & agreed because I actually really want her to be brave (which I am not).
Then today, she was hitting the baseball I kept tossing to her in the backyard. We don’t do it often enough, but she loves it. She has a padded tee-ball bat & a real baseball from our local pro ball team. It’s hard.
She made contact (which she actually does frequently, because she’s just seemed to have taken to baseball), but instead of sailing out to the yard as usual, the ball popped up & hit her in the nose.
I watched it happen. She was stunned, telling me she was ok even as the tears suddenly poured over her shocked face.
A few hugs later, she was still sniffling as I turned to tend NBG (2) for a minute. Then T-bug blindsided me by saying that she was ready to hit the ball again. That she needed to do it because she is brave.
And, Folks, she is. She hit that ball several more times because she loves to hit, & she will not let fear of pain stop her from doing it.
That rush of awed respect I experienced was worth every less-than-perfect moment today.
(On a sidenote, she’s really figuring out proper batting position.)
Two, as if all that’s not enough & I’m not already blessed beyond reason, I realized that NBG has suddenly had a huge jump in vocabulary & communication. I’m talking, Huge.
Suddenly, the past couple of days filled with horrifying meltdowns of toddler proportions is making a lot more sense. It’s finally understandable, what we’ve been going through. She’s in the middle of an epic developmental leap, & oh my gosh, she’s an audible learner (just realized that today, too).
She’s exhausted, maybe overloaded, but she doesn’t want to stop taking in the info so as to sleep instead. Ugh. Poor baby.
It was tonight, as I was trying not to lose my cool during the second attempt at bedtime, that I realized I could understand nearly everything she was saying. It was coherent, concise, & intelligent.
Once it hit me, I realized I needed to get her talking. I try to ask questions whenever I don’t understand their words or behavior or when I catch myself getting upset. Tonight, she was all in; more words, less whine; better sentence structure, less garble.
She is finally breaking the barrier between toddler & preschooler. She’s growing up. She’s amazing. Less and less like that little baby to whom I’ve been so accustomed.
Tonight still required a third bedtime attempt, at least for NBG, but neither of us was miserable while we figured out what was going to help her get some zzzz’s.
Because I can honestly say…
Today was a good day. An amazing day. One I won’t forget.
I got to tell my eldest that yes, she really is so brave, & I’m so beyond proud of her. I got to experience true respect for her as a person, not as a child from an adult perspective. She has character, & I believe it’s a good one.
I also got to marvel at the mind that is peeking out of my youngest child while connecting deeply with her instead of sacrificing a little more of our relationship to selfish frustration or stress. She is almost done being a baby, & I’m going to miss this time more than I can say. I needed the reminder to pay attention. (Besides, she may be smarter than me. Attention is probably a good idea.)
No, I wasn’t impressive today at all.
My girls, however, were amazing.